At the Heart of Amelioration

“Sometimes, development is enough reason for us to keep pushing.”

A friend of mine told me, “Andrew, I can pick a certain intensity in you. You never settle.”

He is probably right. There is something in me that is waiting to be unleashed. It is trickling through the gaps of what I see as education.

May it be a learnt skill, a grammar correction or a social pretence I gathered – they all point to the same thing over and over again – which is development.

Development takes so many forms. The moment we pick them, we should scrutinise forces that lie beneath. It is in each acknowledgement of growth we set our character.

Say for instance, understanding office dynamics, we learn who are the major players besides our manager. We find who can influence the boss and the people we can rely on. We take that understanding and apply it to the next employment.

Yet, it takes awareness to keep amelioration. The moment we keep that hunger and sensitivity for learning, it becomes a part of us.

That relentless pursuit of improvement requires a level of openness. It is the calibre that  challenges even our own values and beliefs.

Therefore, it takes so much effort to have a great persona of growth. It may not be worth it for some of us. However, at least, we surely made our lives worthwhile.



Our Fundamental Flaw

Some of us who will veer outside the realms of logic.

In the case of the infamous Bonnie and Clyde, during the notorious outbreak of their crime spree, people of the time flock them. For the gruesome crimes they committed, people were drawn to the glamour portrayed by the media. Women dressed up like Bonnie. Men referred Clyde as their macho hero. They were allured by their glitz, they forgot their victims.

The Kardashian Family is another example. For their TV shows to air primetime, it shows the mundanity of some of us daydreaming.

Trump is another prime instance. Republicans whether hardline or progressive do not question the president’s decision. From declaring climate change as a hoax, distrusting the government’s intelligence agencies and making enemies out of long-time allies; they went with all his irrationalities.

Why are these happening?

This is who we are – built and designed to be emotional than logical. Illogicality fills us in our depths. There is no escape from this universal essence.

This explains why we put more emphasis on luxury than utility. We go for ego, pride and biases. The reason we also pay attention to beauty than brains. Some of our executives and managers will ego trip than make sensible decisions. Our past hedonistic rulers burned countries to the ground.

We cannot fight this tendency. Hence, there are ways to minimize its impact.

For one, it takes effort and persistence to be aware of all these. Reflection will be our friend.

An effective reflection prods and lays the understanding to our tendencies. It takes swallowing the bitter pill and admitting we are wrong. Part of reflection is questioning our actions and beliefs.

Of course, this takes a lifetime of practice. Saints and most of our respected religious leaders enact total self awareness. At the sign of mistake, they reflect and make revisions.

For us, ordinary citizens, it takes strides and motivations to go over our character. These flaws are meshed in us by culture and norms. It is tricky to go against society. Hence, it is so easy to go with the flow.

At the end of the day, we ought to live life to the fullest. By acknowledging our flaws and finding ways to improve will give us the best chance of being happy.

Does Ignorance Last?

Sucked into that situation, we feel that helplessness.

I, a couple of times heckled, found my character attacked when committing mistakes. Though the insecurities of the characters are also culpable for my failure, the view is always marred by the emotions at hand.

It is always away from the situation that we get a clearer picture. Take it as an instance, we cannot hold everything personal.

We have to do this – hold to our esteem. Sanity clings when we know who we are.

Keep moving forward! It becomes our nature when we continue learning! Aside from this, people who doubt should be doubting themselves!

Unfazed, Happy and Greatest

I am done with all my emotional inefficiencies. For all my setbacks, it takes me hours to days to get away from all the dreary feeling. I continue to feel most of them but found a better way to move forward.

My intents are always the same, walk towards greatness. However, that path is rigged with many heartaches and hardships. There is no easy way. It is a process.

I relived those moments close to slipping into depression with all the frustrations and anxiety for not making it. “Making it” is the highest standard I have set for myself – being ultra-rich. In the end, all of it for what?

This qualm surfaced – if I do search for greatness, I will encounter pain. If I live with modesty – granted my character, I will regret it. There has to be a middle ground to this.

I looked within and found – “Whatever, be happy and great”. I hold my happiness. I am successful. I forge my path to greatness.

Therefore, I am living that mantra. Unfazed by naivety, I will continue to trudge to my greatness. Happy, I learn from my mistakes and move forward to my utmost.


I do it because I can

There were so many times I felt unappreciated. Family members not recognizing my efforts. At work, I was ridiculed.

It is human nature to focus on certain things. Some people are so biased to look at a mistake.

That is what happened in most of my jobs. Managers who are so erratic in decision making – they cannot see their flaws in judgement.

But that is besides the point. I had to pick my battles. I had to shut the signs of wallowing. Before, I pitied myself over things I have no control – my bosses’ hypocritical perceptions.

Eventually, I realized, regardless who made that mistake: I choose how to react. I am geared towards improvement. Fuck the people who do not know how to influence, empower and encourage. Thus, I am soldiering on.

I am no different to the people I am criticizing; I realize that. However, my edge is I self reflect. My feet are on the ground – I listen, mediate and meditate.

I will continue to improve. I will risk committing mistakes. It is not because I am trying to be great – it is because I can.

Alone in My Greatness

“Not all will share your passion.” This quote has long lingered in me since I graduated from college.

The intensity of my dreams never waned over the years. Since high school, I really wanted to make something out of myself.

I had been frustrated, slipped to almost depression and tired myself to death thinking about how to reach my goals. This is aside from finding myself to blame for all the mischief I caused.

Is it bad to dream? No… But I need to be efficient. There is the sweet spot where  perceptual happiness intersects with my dream – I cannot pound myself for not making. Life is too short for regrets.

Therefore, why do I need success? Do I really need it?

I am happy with my situation. But I cannot deny that I love living and every ounce of action will give me something to look forward. It is what keeps me up everyday – the determination that I will soon discover and realize my life’s worth. I have a certain calibration: I know what it feels. It will soon unfold. I will find it.

I face uncertainty: I love it. Faith has long ingrained the value of waiting. My skills are honed and my confidence became uncannily firm. There is something in me that intangibly grows. I acquire knowledge in all forms. Thus, I am holistically learning.

May it be spiritual, emotional and personal; every aspect of my life is never untouched. I stay true to my chosen being… and soon my destiny. I know I am really going to make it.

You and I will see…


Necessary Pain

All of us were brought to this world by a necessary pain – childbirth. For it was not for this divine maternal act, we would not make it.

On the other hand, the universe could have made a big joke and have us replicate by cell splitting. Who knows? But that is not exactly our point.

By the process that brought us here, this should have send the message that our lives will be full of necessary pains. After birth, our pains just began.

As babies, we cried in order to be fed and changed. We felt pain in order to be gratified.

Going to school was painful. Toiling through each lesson, painstakingly answering each assignments, deadlines for reports, field practices, all of which had some impact on our future as citizens. Many of us made it and others did not. It did not stop there.

Our lives are full of painful decisions. Living away from family to pursue a career or stay out the comforts of our homes to experience a chance of the lifetime. Those pains have something gratifying after. But we had to weigh their options.

Why do we have to go through them?

It is the balance that we need in order to be humans. As ironic as it is but, our lives will depend on the pain we choose.

In order to make it to our destination, it is just part of our lives to go through them. Growing through necessary pains is just part of our nature.